Thursday, February 10, 2011

When the Stars Align

As I said yesterday, I'm not a particularly religious person. But I have my own ideas about things. While I wouldn't say I believe in nothing, I also know the things I do believe in don't really match any specific doctrine.  I believe in karma. In kindness and empathy. In kitties. I believe in the leaves on the trees, the water lapping at the shore, the grass beneath my feet and the songs of birds in the morning. I believe it's good luck to stamp your hand when you see the first robin in the spring. I believe that talking about how well your car has been running will cause it to immediately break down. I believe that 13 is my lucky number and that although the meek may not inherit the earth, they sleep better at night. I believe that you love who you love no matter what parts they have. I believe in the masculine and feminine traits of the Divine, which I believe is all around us. I believe that what you send out comes back times three. I knock on wood.

And I believe that things happen for a reason.

Lately, I have to keep reminding myself of this particular belief of mine. Like any faith, in times of trouble, the doubts have a way of creeping in.

And yet, when I look back over the last several months, I can see a pattern. In December, I quit smoking.  I did this for several reasons, all of them about the usual- health, expense, inconvenience. Late in December I bought a Roku and in January I cancelled my expensive but beloved DirecTv.

In February I lost my job. The universe was preparing me.

June is the deadline for me to finish my long procrastinated BA. At least without paying a lot more money. Guess what? If I hadn't lost my job I wouldn't have known. And I've always wanted to get my Masters. Funny thing, they don't let you do that until you finish your BA. So guess what I'm going to do?

In January, a close friend underwent surgery for breast cancer. She usually provides daycare for her two granddaughters during the day but for the last few weeks they've had a "substitute." My friend has to go back in for another surgery and the "substitute" has to move along to another job. And because I'm not working I get to help out my friends while making some extra money.

I wasn't happy at my job and I hadn't been for a long time but I couldn't seem to muster up the courage to  leave. I had too many friends there and I was too comfortable. I didn't hate what I was doing but I didn't love it either. And lately I'd been having that used up feeling you get when you're reaching the end of your rope.

Things happen for a reason.

I have no idea what the future holds for me. It's scary because I'm not a risk taker. I'm not brave. I like to be self-sufficient. But I have faith. At least I'm trying. Because the universe is preparing me for Something Bigger. Something Brighter.